I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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