Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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