I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
