She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
