What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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