So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
