So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
