mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
