Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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