Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
