Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize