Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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