i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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