Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just high enough for therapy.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
