i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
