Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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