Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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