Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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