I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
All I want is dick and wine.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
