we're blogging at a bar
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
