Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
