My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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