I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
