Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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