nut hugger
He told me they were just razor bumps!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
