do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
