Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize