it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
