what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm always down for nudity.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
