please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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