dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He keeps bees of course he's weird
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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