honey bunches of taint.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
