I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
