I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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