im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
