Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize