you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
