We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
