I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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