He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
