Dual....:-)
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize