I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
