I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
