i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
How's work?
Spinning.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
