Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
