I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
