where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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