if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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