dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
