He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
