never play flip cup with pint glasses
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
