I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
