I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
