I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you didnt know i had herpes?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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