So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
