apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
