That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
