At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
