matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
