just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
