I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
barbara walters just said penis...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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