eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
