I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
