you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
