just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
