Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
