I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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