was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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