Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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