3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
