Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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