remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
