Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
