you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize