I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
