yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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