Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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