All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
