you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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