So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
