there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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